One of the best “life lessons” I’ve ever learned came out of my divorce in 1996. Back then, I was angry a lot! I was told that it was a primary reason that my wife left me. She thought it was just a matter of time before my anger turned into physically abuse. Now, that would have never happened. But looking back, I can see why she felt that way. I made her fearful; and fear is fear, whether I think the reasons for it are rational or not.
Now Anger is not necessarily a bad thing. Even Jesus got angry when he flipped over the tables of the money-changers in the temple (Matthew 21:12-13). But His was a purposeful, meaningful anger; and more importantly, He knew exactly what he was doing. Me? I was out of control. When I say I was angry, I don’t mean just being a little grouchy or ornery. I certainly didn’t have a righteous anger like Jesus. No, I was out-of-control, yelling at the top of my lungs, stomping around, pounding the table, and breaking things angry. I was like this on a very regular basis (especially at home). That kind of anger (was) is a problem. And it usually ended with me coming back later feeling shame or guilt.
So I did some soul-searching. I asked myself the most important question: Continue reading